Hello everyone,
Today, I wanted to voice my concern about my 16 year old son Alex. My husband and I have a rule with our son that as long as he has a cell phone...we get to periodically check it (to make sure he's not abusing the privilege by getting on porn or sexting or anything else inappropriate). My husband, Tim was checking his phone this evening. I am a bit bothered by a few of the text messages that he sent. Nothing inappropriate or anything but Alex did tell his friend Monica that my husband is abusive. While this is partially true, it still bothers me. It bothers me because Tim has PTSD. When Tim returned home from Iraq, he was abusive during his bouts of ...well I'm not sure what you call them fits of anger, maybe? Tim did hit myself and Alex, although Tim would later have no recollection of the incident (later we found out this is one of Tim's side effects of his PTSD). Tim has been in treatment for well over three years and has barely raised his voice to any of our four children, let alone hit anyone out of anger.
It really bothers me that Alex is telling his friend that Tim is abusive. For one, the abusiveness was by no fault of Tim's. Another, Tim is in treatment and has been quite successful with his anger issues. I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself by it really bothers me.
The other issue, we found in his texting is: he was complaining about the constant yelling and he would rather be anywhere but here. That really hurt my feelings. For one thing, there is very little yelling...most of it is when someone yells across the house instead walking to the other side of the house. I must admit there are times that I raise my voice to our nine year old twins, who seem to completely ignore everything I say and do. I know there are times, I yell at them to get their attention. I should stop doing that.
I know I am far from the perfect parent, but it is hurtful to read about how I should leave my husband because he's abusive and yells all the time which is very ironic because the only person who "yells" or even raises their voice is me!
I'm sure when I go to see my therapist, she will tell me Alex is still angry at Tim for coming home from Iraq (and coming home with PTSD).
